Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Composer - Hugh Martin

Introduced by Judy Garland in 1944

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

recorded this since im free at home..

the piano chords r a bit weird coz i played it thru trial n error method.. =P

it's not perfect.. anyhow, juz to wish u guys Happy Christmas!!

happy holidays!! ^^

it's another year..

坐在电脑前， 心情顿时很复杂； 思绪错乱， 一窝蜂涌上头脑。。

首先， 正式宣布我的5th Sem已经完成了； 不过还不知道是不是顺利的过了。。 哈哈。。

还是一样那句， 迷糊的半年。。

sorry mum, for letting you worry about me.. im trying my best; to squeeze out the best in me, it's not ur responsibilities; so please don't worry.. ^^

说到家人， 一直有种遗憾； 好像自己一直不能为他们贡献些什么。。

因为连自己都管不了自己， 很对不起他们。。

恨自己的长不大； 恨自己的无能； 恨自己不够爱他们。。

我的家。。。

im proud of them.. proud to be one of them..

让我思绪错乱的：

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=181668725179222&id=754228704

刚开始读时还以为是开玩笑的， 但， 他真的走了。

我真的很、很、很疑惑。。

为什么会有这种人？

不是要鄙视还是看不起他； 而是真正的打从心底感到疑惑。。

blinded by love??

认为自己一直长不大， 可是， 他。。

他跟我同岁。。

思想竟是如此..?!

让我感到难过的是， 世界上和他有同样思想的人还有很多。。

只有主能救他们了。。

to all homo sapiens:
get ur priorities in life right!!
it's frustrating to see people so lost; even way lost than me..!!
love yourself and those who really love you..

又一年了； 我又做了什么？

知道吗？ 我在逃避； 因为我知道结果。

Outdated post - 13th Nov

listening to Sarah McLachlan's Angel..

my trip back home last week leaves me wif lots of 'feel'..

haha.. wat 'feel'? u may ask..

i dunno, hard to explain.. i'll try..

the feel of happiness while enjoyin my mum's cooking;

the feel of satisfaction to be wif my family, even by juz watchin tv and laughing together;

the feel of sadness to see grandma in pain when her sickness strikes suddenly;

the feel of realizing how small i am in helping, effort and ability wise;

the feel of emptiness when all i get in my sms inbox are ad-smses frm maxis and hotlink;

the feel of regret when i din touched any book; (except Facebook)

the feel of anger when i slept til noon everyday, wasting those precious time;

the feel of consolation when mum n 2sis tried to calm me down when my nerves are gettin to me;

the feel of awesomeness to hv some decent meals after all these while of 3.60/3.90 meals;

the feel of 'glee' juz to be at home........

.....................

................

much, much more feel which i cant describe..

as we get older, feelings get more and more significant, hard to ignore juz how they make an impact in ur heart..

seems like yesterday i was juz

18: enjoyin the time of my life in NS, and

19: nervously gettin ready for stpm, and

20: entering U and going thru orientation week..

somehow i gotta admit that my enjoyable life stops at 20..

people always says uni life is the best time, i hv my own opinion for dat: it's not..

mayb it's coz of my course..

the only exception was my coursemates and the people i meet..

im stil having doubt for me choosing this path.. bio is stil better for me..

nevetheless, there's no point goin on and on twirlling around, i should juz put it down n stop bothering mum.. it's not fair to her.. i noe..

uni life has the worse effect on my health; while wat i conclude from this is dat i lack: self control, discipline and determination..

uni life anyone?? i'll exchange it for something with great value of money..

but i'll most probably regret later on.. haha..

i found my diaries when i was goin through my old stuffs..

childish, is wat i use to describe it.. hahahaha...

but i can see me growing up page by page; i've been on it for more than 5 years!! without me noticing..

why'd i stopped? i guess technology overcame it.. i had my laptop.. then there's blog..

but honestly, my diary pages are more real, i was true to myself..

im not sayin my blog posts aren't real, but rather there're some feelings that i kept concealed..

another thing that i notice is that there's more happiness between the diary pages those past years compared to now..

the phrase "growing up happily" seems like a fairytale after all, as problems come with age..

haha... here i am, complaining like an old grandma..

i should stop whining... i hate it too when ppl do dat..

i should stil keep some hopes..

i should concern more about my family and friends..

i should stop dreaming..

i should.....

i should...

i should.

i should start studying........!!!

note to self: i should start my diary entries again..

people don't always practice what they preach

完了？！

矛盾着该用华语还是英文。。

还是华语好了。。

我的3rd year, 1st sem， 完了。。

而我， 好像也是完了。。

短短的几个月， 过完了， 还是空空荡荡的头脑； 空荡的心情。。

学了些什么？ ~ 抄功课吧。。 哈哈。。

哈哈， 朋友说我的blog很emo喔。。

有吗？？ 偶尔吧， 我不可能永远都保持着快乐的心情啊。。

只有遇过人生的低潮， 才会知道真正开心时候的重要性。。

朋友又说我很幼稚。。

不过， 我觉得比起以前， 我成熟了很多。。 尤其是NS过后。。

（好像在自挖坑洞说自己以前更幼稚。。　哈哈。。）

朋友又说我的样子很惹人笑。。

其实他们还没看过我以前的样子。。

宅女一个；　活在自己的世界里（虽然现在还是有点）；　不是很理睬别人。。

还是一样；　NS让我改变了。。

还有我Form6时的那班死党，　真的，　他们让我改变了不少。。

那些人，　你们自己知道是谁啦。。　^^

有时候，　曾怀疑过自己，　是否该改变。。

行为上，　言语上，　举止上。。

至少在别人眼里我还是认真的，　不是那么爱玩、搞怪。。

但后来还是决定了；　不想过回以前封闭自己的生活。。

我希望自己是带给别人欢乐的人，　虽然偶尔心情还是会闷闷的，　尽量不表现出来就好了。。　别人开心，　我也会感到欣慰。。　至少能让别人转换一下心情。。

不是想说自己很伟大或是什么，　只是自己心里的一个……　心愿吧。。

但是如果有时候我办不到的话，　请原谅我。。

话说回来，　真的好奇为什么自己的心情会那么容易的被牵动。。

还是一样。。

该不该把过去都忘记，　重新开始呢？

好了，　emo一次过写完了。。　哈哈。。

明天回家咯！！！

姐姐生病赶快好起来吧。。　祈祷。。

突然很想念阿嫲。。　明天就能见到她咯！！　^^

晚安，　世界。。

心中的秘密，　还是秘密。。

at last, a rest stop..

juz came back from 'little genting', where all the couples go there to ...... ( continue in ur own words.. haha.. )

Note: time now is 4AM.....

it was somehow a crazy day.. guess everyone was juz too tension.....

another thing to take note is that our "god" came wif us too.. haha... it's great to see him outside skul compound, at least he is less 'god-like' in his casual clothes.. haha...

dinner was like a course gathering, minus "some" people who were busy and add one more which somehow is literally connected to our course.. hehe... guess who is he on ur own..

come to think of it, we're gettin less n less closer compared to our 1st and 2nd years, where we'll be goin out everywhere together n takin GBs of pics... this course is reali gettin hard on us...

so for this sem, after next week, it is officially over, minus the study weeks n exams..

wat have i done n learned? i asked..

it's disheartening...........................

but stil, we can't look back and think of what we should hv done earlier; instead, looking ahead and think of what we can do..

though easier said than done........

it's stil the need to prove to my family that they can believe in me, especially mum; i dunno whether i'll let them down onot....... =|

hwaiting!!!

as for IP, reali am short of words to decribe how i feel about it....

but, all of us reali did our best, that's one thing that im proud of our members n leader..

let's hope we'll get better next sem......

as for now, i need some sleep..........

nite world.......

smile..... =)

somehow people don't take me seriously, does it bothers me? sometimes..

but "y so serious?"

it's fun to make people laugh, i dun wanna lose my only ability..

still there

hmmm... how 2 describe...

lyrics stating a few meanings...

it can be expressing one's determination to stay the same n stay true to themselves; even though gettin pressure n despised by others.. it's a "strong" lyrics if it's interpreted dis way..

another way of seeing this is seeing a weaker part in a person.. one is lost followin reality but not their dreams, in the end, they're stil at the crossroads, not knowing where to go..

my first 'completed' english lyrics..

which way are u seeing this lyrics?

still there

standing at the crossroads

even though there's no one to light my way home

fallin endlessly

in a trance, im lost within me

crazy as it seems

standing by reality as they chase away their dreams

heartbeat gettin strong

wonderin, whether i did wrong

how can i

reach out to someone who cares

somehow just isn't there

i know, i know, i know that

you know, you know, you know

im fine

im fine?

listen i

tried my best to change my way

no matter what you say

i know, i know, i know that

people, will stay, the same

that's that

im still there

i know, i know, i know that

you ain't, gettin, me goin

your way

i am

stil there

Hectic week~~~

huh..............................................

a gasp of air taken..........

at last... 'SOME' hectic week.......

1st wif one of my lecturer.. i think im banned by him, he hates us.. haiz... but it's my fault oso, so cant blame anybody.. so MT, dun wori too much about it...

it was kinda devastating... no point crying over spilled milk though...

next wif my ODE test.......

i dunno wat to expect n wat i expect is 'bad'.....

any regrets, u may ask.. i cant reali say anything, did i do my best? but i did did my best on the last minute.. so...................

again, devastating... im kinda lost for words now, 'devastating' seems like the best word to describe my life....

it's coz of ode test that made me reali reali think that mayb i should have considered changing course.. i aint made for this.. with my stupid pea brain i cant go far anywhere in this, to make things even worse, i had my stupid laziness following me all around....!! get rid of it please!!! haiz..

will i do better in another path?? i dun wanna disappoint my mum n dad........... -.-

another hectic thing, HE presentation.......

dis i must say sorry to 'kid' coz he reali step up n did it even though he's so busy.. sorry for insisting............

my hands were practically shaking so badly when i was presenting..

my frens thought i can do well up at the stage, but it's juz waaaay crooked frm the truth; i have stage fright.. can i overcome it? i reali hope so...

my sis told me im always on cloud nine, but it's not that im happy all de time; it's coz of it seems like im always floating around, not focusing n blurring..

thx sis for showing me how wrong i am..

i should have paid more attention, n not ignoring...

i was having so many things on my mind that they're obscuring my view; where i cant see that she has her problems too.. the world doesn't rotate around me, i was too self-obsessed..

anyhow, it was quite some few sad days, after having a row with my sis... or rather being scolded by her..

i stil love her, she juz wants the best for me....

my hectic week has ended...

more to come??!

let me rest a while 1st...........

good nite everyone....

have a great day!!!

not forgetting to ~smile~!! ^.^

*the world doesn't revolve around you*

朋友

这首是我第一首感到满意的词和曲, 也是让朋友听到的第一个创作。。

那时候没什么期待, 只是想让朋友听听看而已, 是不是有抄袭到别人的歌。。

而这首歌的意义, 正是想献给朋友们的歌： SPM后的离别感特别深, 所以写了这首。。

朋友

我们的故事到底

会不会到此完毕

现在各分东西

会不会只剩下回忆

不能再找你哭诉

我们奔向自己的路

只能感到知足

你带给我无限的领悟

虽然有时候

大吵大闹 莫名其妙

但朋友 谢谢你

你是我最大的骄傲

朋友

你总在我的身边 无时无刻地守候

小声地告诉你 你重要过我的男朋友

朋友

将走到陌生环境 少了你我总会孤寂

从前那幕幕回忆 幸好有你 幸好有你

人们说永存友谊

我会相信 我真的相信

词曲：CRYSTAL®

希望有一天我准备好了能和大家分享我觉得普通却是我用心的创作。。 ^^

这问题早就有答案

听着蔡健雅的《若你碰到他》。。
很佩服她的才华， 每一首歌都那么触动人心。。

而我的心， 被触动了吗？

之前几个月， 很是难熬。。
现在总算平静下来了。。 但， 是心情的平静， 身心上还是为了课业、被自己的懒惰背叛而渐渐的被挖空了。。
经过了那些波折， 我相信， 真的相信自己又长一智了； ＥＱ可以又加几分了。。
只是不能保证，　再遇到同样的事，　自己能不能控制得住；　毕竟那时的反应真的吓到了自己。。
谢谢朋友们的聊天，　让我平复下来。。　最爱你们了。。　＝）
今天后，　我能自豪的说，　我解脱了，　因为我能微笑了。。


或许有些人看了我的blog后会觉得，　我这个人，　很难懂、郁闷；　相信我，　我也觉得自己很难懂，　就像Princess Diaries里面的Mia说过的，　我还在寻找 "self actualization".．
平时的我嘻嘻哈哈的，　并不是伪装；　我很希望能带给大家快乐开心的氛围。。
请容许我在blog里面搞emo一下，　抒发平时压抑着的心情。。
不过，　当然，　我还是会分享我开心的事。。　别难过。。　哈哈。。


身体累了，　休息一下；
可是如果心累了，　该怎么休息呢？
小丑也会有难过的时候吧。。
不过小丑还是会恢复的，　再把欢乐散播出去。。


忙碌的生活，　疲惫的身躯，　年老的心灵；
在寻找自我、　开创未来的当儿，　问候家人和朋友了吗？
多久没打给爸妈问一句：你好吗？
记得接受也要付出。。



我的朋友，　你们好吗？

“这问题早就有答案”是《若你碰到他》的其中一句歌词。。

抛物线 - 蔡健雅

我確實說　我這樣說　我不在乎結果
我對你說　我有把握　成功例子好多
人們虛假又造作　總愛得不溫不火
我們用真心就不會有差錯
我沒想過我會難過　你竟然離開我

＊愛沿著　拋物線
　離幸福　總降落得差一點
　流著血心跳　卻不曾被心痛消滅
　真真切切

　青春的　拋物線
　把未來　始於相遇的地點
　至高後才了解
　世上月圓月缺只是錯覺＊

我好想說　我只想說　我不要這後果
可是你說　相對來說　走開是種解脫
當初親密的動作　變成當下的閃躲
感情的過程出了什麼差錯
我沒想過我會難過　你終於離開我

愛沿著　拋物線
　離幸福　總降落得差一點
　流著血心跳　卻不曾被心痛消滅
　真真切切

　青春的　拋物線
　把未來　始於相遇的地點
　至高後才了解
　世上月圓月缺只是錯覺
至高後才了解　世上月圓月缺只是錯覺

我很喜欢的一首歌。。

心情， 似乎被它操纵着。。

许愿。。

望着天空

许愿着

愿望还是真实的吗？

我累了

怀疑

是否怀疑过自己， 思想、行动或是决定。。？

最近对自己充满了怀疑。。

怀疑自己能不能控制心情； 怀疑自己的能力； 怀疑自己还能不能像以前那样开心。。

向来不是很喜欢搞忧郁的人， 自己却好像变成那种人了。。

其实大家都有秘密； 在于能把它保守到什么时候。。

但很确定的， 我知道的、和我的， 我会守护着。

Decisions..

im kinda scared of it now..

dilemma is makin it even worse..

hopefully i'll get over it real soon..

it has been 2 years ad, i 'lived' happily n effortlessly..

n i, now, am wondering whether i did the rite decision or choose the rite path..

somehow, i wasn't reali into physics n i took engineering？

somehow, im nothin while trying to be something?

somehow, i got carried away...

i only hoped to make my family proud, that's my only hope..

guess ppl juz dun settle with wat they hv in hands; instead of keepin them, they let go to get more; only to realise all are gone, slipping through their fingers..

i dun wanna be one of them..

but there's another saying that says to gain something, u need to let go of something..

it all boils down to the scary word again: decisions..

anyhow, somehow, i'll make sure i stop lamenting about myself n see more things that're goin around me..

laughter & smile; i need them back to spread them out..

hv u found urs?

我不是无敌的小丑

2.09am 21 july

又一个无题

每次写blog得时候总是感觉心情不好的时候， 为什么。。

一直有事烦心， 为什么会被别人牵动着情绪。。

我最讨厌的就是对自己不诚实， 假惺惺的人； 而我， 好像渐渐变成那种人了。。。

不要啊。。

很想很想一直守护着家人， 可是我能力有限， 能做的不多。。

多希望自己变成能让他们依靠的人。。

多希望事情能一snap fingers， 就能迎刃而解。。

可惜事实并非如此。。

但我知道主会帮助我们的。。

我要为自己而活， 为家人而活。。

家人， 朋友； 我会珍惜你们。。

不能活在过去， 地球转动的同时， 向前看吧。。

~my Cameron trip~

well... i expect this post to be a long one, hopefully i can keep it short den..

i actually told de girls that i may not be joining them coz i had things 2 do during dis month..

but then i got a call n kinda got scolded n forced by annie to promise i'll go....

den the story begins...

it's a pity wanching cant join us.. but alas we cant compromise to each n every1's time n date but to follow majority's time... we're reali sori wanching.... =(

well.. we started off on tue 7am frm malacca, reached bukit jalil around 9am..

little did we noe our nightmare started when we bought our bus ticket to CH on 10.30am..

the bus came late..

there's the leak frm de side,

n the worst of it all, the air-cond went on n off every 10 min....!! gosh....

crazy trip to the top, we stayed in the bus for almost 6 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luckily aaron had pills.. haha... to prevent car-sickness... or in this case bus-sickness.... or whatever it's called...

if not i think he'll pengsan... n ben mayb oso will... haha....

at long last we reached Tanah Rata bus station..

coz our apartment auntie was waiting for us, we only managed to see tour packages frm a company, den we signed up for it d....

rm88, no matter how we recount it later, it's stil very not worth it... but what to do, at least we noe what to do next time....

*Guys, if u wan to find more tour packages, dun signed up directly at the small counter after u reach Tanah Rata bus station.. find some time to walk up the shophouses, there's more tour companies along the way.. after that baru make ur choice..*

although we had a rough day, our apartment welcomed us with 'open arms'.. literally...

and the auntie was totally totally nice!!!

we told her we din have enough stuffs to do steamboat n wanted to buy some (luckily we din!!!), she gave us some of her things n oso her home-grown CHERRY TOMATOES!!!! (my favourite!!)

she even gave us a lift back to the bus station when we're goin back... (we stayed in Brinchang)

totally loved the apartment...

with wifi, but none of us brought laptop;

astro, aaron was thrilled... haha.. n oso mok, coz got her 'astro preview'... wahahahahahahaha... (some inside joke)... mok, dun angry ya.... =)

extremely clean n complete with gas n cooking equipment, cups, bowls......................... a lot more...

our first dinner there is SCARY!!!!!

we bought to 'much' (using 'much' as our food was totally uncountable) things.....

5 bags of hotdogs + 1 big packet of crabmeats + 1 big packet of chicken meatballs + 1 bag of glassnoodles + auntie's stuffs + cherry tomatoes.......

im scared of hotdogs now.....

at last we decided not to waste food, n we had some 'gambling' goin on.... haha....

those who lost were forced to eat....

annie was our champion!!!! followed by ben with his glassnoodles.. congrats... =P

our 2nd day's tour was hectic...............

we were running frm place to place... n im totally not lying..

some places were amazing....

i did enjoyed myself, although it's a bit expensive...... =|

but in the end, i think it's not the money dat matters.......;

or the tiring bus ride......;

or the leaking window.......;

or the crazy wheather....; =P

i reali had a lot of fun with my frens..... n that compensates it all.....

all of us were always busy wif skul n stuffs, it's hard for us 2 get together like old times, im glad i went wif them.....

it seems like we had fun too even by just sittin there on the couch, watchin astro.. (aaron had fun, i noe, haha..)

i miss u guys already..... hopefully there'll be another trip soon la ya...

c u soon when i go back mlk... =)

thx every1 for makin it happen:

annie

mok

siau

pao

aaron

ben

u guys are awesome!!! =)

朋友, 是个很奇怪的东西..

很久不联络, 见面还是感到那么温馨;

算是有见面的, 却还是像陌生人一样;

另一种更极端的, 曾经那么熟, 一个转身, 自己被杀了也不知道, 甚至于完全不知道他在想什么..

朋友, 若我说过或做过什么让你不爽的话, 我慎重的道歉, 我不是故意的....

我是真的很想维护及珍惜我们的友情...

姐妹们和好朋友们, 你们是除了我家人之外的人, 让我能最自然, 不做作(还有丑陋)的表现自己..

谢谢你们出现在我生命里....

已经渐渐地看开了, 我就是我; 让别人开心, 自己也开心...

videos....

i juz realized that i din share de video that i did for our penang trip in my blog..

so here it is.......

time reali flies, it's already half a year d......

another one dat i wanted 2 share is our college's choir performance....

i reali reali had fun dis year.. we had great seniors n juniors.. (not that last year's not good..)

there's a new feeling dis time on stage compared 2 last year..

i had time 2 look at some of de members while singing; some of them were smiling.. those juniors remind me of "last year's me", n i cant help but notice that there's a change in me, n all of us....

my 1st piano performance on stage; sort of 'forced' to do it by mingtat n david.. but it reali was a great experience.. thanx guys...

there's Feseni every year.. ppl come n go...

but i wont forget those 2 years when i was on stage, singing out n performing after those hard days of training..

u guys gave me a great memory, both seniors n juniors, n also our beloved teacher n friend, Caroline;

i wont ever, ever forget this....

ending is a new beginning...

随着成绩出炉， 第二年算是已经完整的过了。。

得到了比预期好的成绩， 很开心。。

几个coursemate和junior却逃不过‘魔掌’， 依然被折磨着； 大家， 加油！ 撑过去就雨过天晴了！！

晓， 宝， mok已经是在最后一年了。。 还叫我记得去他们的毕业典礼。。

若能去我一定去， 放心！！

我呢， 还要两年； 是被折磨， 还是不？

坦白说， 这两年我都在混； 觉得很对不起爸爸妈妈。。

希望这两年真的能更明白， 更提升自己。。

另一个目标： 天天开心， 也让别人开心。。

还是不想放弃音乐， 希望在音乐方面也能继续努力。。

不明白为何有些人会这么决定； 当时的心情又是怎样的呢？

不管如何， 还是希望身边的家人， 朋友， 大家， 一切安好， 开心就好了。。

也不明白为何有些人会那么冷血。。 该用冷血形容吗？ 还是无情。。

我不知道。。 只是觉得这么多年的朋友， 需要这样吗。。

我们是阻碍你还是怎样？ 连一丁点的联系都不想吗？

给了最后一次机会了， 是你先放弃的， 我无能为力了。。

算了吧。。

不过还是谢谢你给过的回忆。。 只有这样了。。

我对你说过：生活就像是车程一样， 有时候放慢速度才能看到窗外的风景； 希望你还记得， 累的时候放慢速度。。 只是， 遗憾和难过的是， 你的风景里， 没有我们了。。

unpredictable...

人生， 是难预测的。。

今年， 只能说多灾多难。。。。

不知该说些什么。。

他的身影和脸还在脑海中， 那么清晰。。

致： 你。。

虽然跟你不是很熟， 但毕竟， 我认识过你、和你说过话、知道你的存在。。

而我， 真的难过了。。

不知该说什么， 只有RIP。。 我们会想你。。

疑惑。。 可是不知该怎么开口问、不知该问谁。。

似乎问了谁， 就会伤害到那人。。

。。。。。。。。。。。

。。。。。。。

我们会想你的。。

PS：请不要在别人的status上直接问“谁”。。 那人可能会难过。。 大家都会难过。。

the end..?

my last paper dis sem is another 46 hours away...........

is dis 'the end'..?

my only feeling about my final dis time is dat im constantly trying to escape.. from wat i have no idea... even though it's comin so near until it's nearly in front of my eyes, im still running away...

ppl said that i'll get great marks even though i study last minute; well wat i feel is that i guess luck is not on my side dis time.. so im so keeping my fingers crossed dis time til they hurt...

ups n downs r essential to let someone grow..

n de ups n downs these few months r just so massive that i think i've totally shrank ...

totally unexpected... hmm...

i guess all of us were affected... we had sleepless nights......

but there's nothin else to do except pray.....

i guess my goal of making ppl happy had to wait..

my mood is stil recovering n i dunno when it'll recover fully...

but anyhow, life stil goes on...

my smile is getting dusty on the rack; i'll wear it on someday, whole day...

i'll recover......

i'll recover...........

i don't intend to make you who read my blog feeling down...

im reali sori....

enjoy ur life n think deeply before u act n don't regret...

there's nothin else more important than feeling happy even until when u cover up urselves to sleep at nite....

have a great nite, n sleep tight...

*stay happy*

我唯一开心的事：我已经没感觉了。。

慌乱的日子。。

标题是为什么呢？

因为， 现在的我， 真的很慌乱。。

但， 不是因为考试。。

朋友们又要说我很厉害了， 不用慌， 没读书也能考到不错的成绩。。

我想澄清的是：

第一， 我真的没耍阴招， 偷偷的读书； 当我说我没读的时候， 我是真的没读。。 我也会慌。。

第二， 我只能说我很有考试运， 可是并不代表我没努力过； 似乎最后准备很适合我， 所以我才这么做。。 （也是因为懒惰）。。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

不知道为什么， 这整个月一直有事情发生。。

搞得我很慌。。

我无能为力， 不知能做些什么。。

心情一直不能恢复。。

而我， 真的很怀疑会不会有恢复的一天。。

想说的是， 如果这段期间， 我不能像以前一样的面对大家， 没办法逗大家开心的话， 真的很抱歉。。 我是真的很尽力掩饰自己的心情， 让自己回到平常一样。。

我只想抒发我此刻的心情； 不是搞神秘或是调高身份， 可是请别问我发生什么事， 真的难以启齿。。

就当这个post不存在吧。。

若我变得沉默无语， 不再是你们的开心果， 请体谅我、继续和我做朋友。。

我正在经过生活的一个陡坡， 希望能尽快跨越它。。

只能祈祷了， 希望一切没事。。

不再相信了， 都是现实的一群人。。

~over the rainbow~

many things happened... sad things..

how can i start...?

but there's no point sayin wat had happened, so i wont start...

my previous blog may give u a hint..

sometimes things happens so fast u dun even realise it..

for now.. it's my last week for my 4th semester..

my fren said that we started the sem copying answers and ended up copying during this last week oso.. haha.. funny yet sad.... =P

PD to do, english presentation to prepare, critical thinking presentation's nerves; my eye check up appointment which costs me a 'blue paper' with the number 50 on it..

then our electronics lecturer come up with something bizarre: tutorial passing up ( this involves major copying work ) and test during nite time...

he's killing us... i noe he plans to do that....

wat to do..? we spent our time copying all the work so he wans us to copy til we die...

this lecturer has a heart of stone, i tell u...

my 2nd year coming to an end..... cant find the words to describe my feelings, as i myself dun even know wat's dat feeling down my stomach at the moment... ( definitely not hunger.. =P )

i'll stil try my best to go on....

actually im in a hurry 2 copy my tutorial right now.. haha.. but somehow cant find the drive to start doing it...

i better start now, so i'll continue my blog next time soon...

决定了， 吗？

爱你更深。。

此刻， 眼泪停不住。。

爷爷， 我会很想念你的。。

我会继续加油， 我们会在天上再见。。

爱你更深。。

就这晚， 让我为你哭。。

每滴眼泪都证明我爱你。。

之后， 我会坚强地跟着你的脚步。。

请你一直提醒我别放弃。。

把荣耀归给主。。

我爱你。。

心情， 建造中。。

沉默是懒得反驳；

沉默是无言以对；

沉默是拒绝回应；

沉默是头脑空白；

沉默是。。。。；

沉默是心情复杂~

此刻， 心情， 建造中。。

请稍候回来。。

谢谢。。

消失与遗失

新年假期一个礼拜。。

发现的东西更多。。

爸爸连车锁匙都能不见， 忘了放哪里。。

妈妈皮包忘了放哪里。。

他们老了。。 而他们变老的过程， 我并没感觉到。。 好像没参与到他们的生活， 像少了什么。。

牵起阿嫲的手， 发现她的手和我的一样大， 皮肤很皱， 却比我的手还滑。。 奇怪吧。。 哈哈。。

二姐也瘦了。。 大姐依然大剌剌的开朗大声。。

才一个月， 改变能这么多吗？

不能想象不见家人半年。。 可是以后还是会的吧。。

珍惜。。。。

好久不见的朋友们。。 能够见面真的很开心。。

谢谢你们在我人生中加上色彩与感动。。

干涩的眼睛， 意味着眼泪不见了。。

慌张的心情， 意味着坚强不见了。。。

僵硬的表情， 意味着笑容不见了。。。。

有谁捡到吗？

请联络我。。

谢谢。。

~珍惜~

无言。。

何时开始， 我对自己感到反感了。。

一直想得到大家的肯定， 伪装、武装自己。。

一直又一直的违背自己对自己的承诺。。

一直又一直的欺骗自己。。

有时候， 恨不得狠狠打自己一顿， 然后骂说‘没用的人’。。

我不需要向谁证明什么， 我只要证明给自己看。。

我该对承诺负责任， 对自己负责任。。

不能辜负家人， 他们很爱我， 我知道。。

好想向全世界大声说：‘我爱你们！！！！！’

我不需要向谁证明什么

~emo~

不知道为什么， 最近身边的人都一直处于emo-ing的状态中。。

不管是令人难过的emo； 或是令人反感的emo， 都会有些许的影响力。。

自己emo吗？

我都一直尽量提醒自己千万不能， 因为会让其他人都受到感染， 自己也很不喜欢别人emo， 所以自己更不行这样。。

不过有时候还是失败了。。 咳。。

每一次觉得自己有长进的时候， 却会做出让自己后悔的事。。

我不想这样。。

天天告诉自己要期待明天， 一天的好与坏， 是自己掌握的。。

朋友， 不管你会不会emo， 真心希望你emo了过后， 还是会抬起头来， 勇敢的走下去。。

记得， 要珍惜。。

明天的事， 没人能预料。。

大家，加油！！！

活了20多年了， 每一天还是上着课， 导师是 - ‘人生’。

希望主能让我及格。。

emotional: readily or excessively affected by emotion

(Source: TheFreeDictionary.com)

upgrading..? @ slowin down..?

phew... it's been a looooooooooooong time since i last updated..

should i say i've been busy..? or juz plain laziness.. haha..

neway.. in my last blog, i said that i'll update about my haul frm Big Bad Wolf Book Sale, so here it is:

1) The Martha Stewart Living Cookbook: The New Classics ( rm20 )

of coz, dis is not for me.. haha.. i'll drop dead if u asked me to cook.. (i specialize in cooking Instant-Noodles though.. =P )

there're around a thousand recipes, but i doubt every one will taste good.. mum went thru it, stating it's not bad, but some of the ingredients are not available in malaysia.. shoot...

2) Angel Uncovered - Katie Price ( rm8 )

3) Take a Chance - Sarah Webb ( rm8 )

4) When the Boys are Away - Sarah Webb ( rm8 )

these are for my sis.. cant find any of the books she wanted, and i mean ANY of them.. (hmm.. booksales doesn't include the popular ones..)

no comment on these though, coz i hvnt read them..

5) The Boar Stone - Jules Watson ( rm8 )

6) The Cinderella Effect - Miriam Morrison ( rm8 )

7) Mister Pip - Lloyd Jones ( rm8 )

stil no comments yet.. hope to start reading soon..

'mister pip''s quite popular, it's author being an Australian, won some 'huge' awards.. looking forward to start dis..

8) Queen of Babble in the Big City - Meg Cabot ( rm8 )

the first book i picked up without looking at the story summary at the back.. coz i LURVE Meg Cabot.. haha.. and also the only book frm the booksale that i've finished..

witty and funny as usual, totally meg-cabot-ly.. great for some light n relax reading..

so that sums up my book haul.....

a video i posted: (pics of my 'activities' frm the last few months of last year..)

happenings so far..?

well, my 2nd sem started on 28th Dec.. been havin some complications in which subjects to take, thanks to our 'dear' mr. Z..

speaking of him.... started his class juz 2day.. and it was like attending a funeral.. haha.. y?

everyone was careful not to wear bright colours, to prevent from being the lucky one called by him.. haha.. ( us seniors actually.. though some r brave enough to take up the challenge.. =P )

but in the end, no one was 'lucky' enough.. haha..

it seems that he likes our juniors more.. compared with our lectures last year.. anyhow, i MUST pass Dynamics this time, dun wanna be tortured by him again.. but alas, we shall meet him again in the years to come... =(

dis short sem sees ===>'BUSY' lying ahead..

am trying to focus on wat i want... reali hope that everything goes well..

A New Year... New Resolutions..?

the term 'new' year hvnt had a great impact on me.... yet.... hmm... wonder y....

new resolutions.................

to stay focus, i guess...

and to treasure wat i have.. my family, friends and passion...

hope that it'll be a GREAT year..!!

will make a video on our course trip to penang soon... i hope........ haha...

that's it then.....

everyone...... HAVE A GREAT YEAR..!!!

c ya!!

People always are not satisfied with what they have, until they realized that they'd lost it.