无言。。

何时开始， 我对自己感到反感了。。

一直想得到大家的肯定， 伪装、武装自己。。

一直又一直的违背自己对自己的承诺。。

一直又一直的欺骗自己。。

有时候， 恨不得狠狠打自己一顿， 然后骂说‘没用的人’。。

我不需要向谁证明什么， 我只要证明给自己看。。

我该对承诺负责任， 对自己负责任。。

不能辜负家人， 他们很爱我， 我知道。。

好想向全世界大声说：‘我爱你们！！！！！’

我不需要向谁证明什么

~emo~

不知道为什么， 最近身边的人都一直处于emo-ing的状态中。。

不管是令人难过的emo； 或是令人反感的emo， 都会有些许的影响力。。

自己emo吗？

我都一直尽量提醒自己千万不能， 因为会让其他人都受到感染， 自己也很不喜欢别人emo， 所以自己更不行这样。。

不过有时候还是失败了。。 咳。。

每一次觉得自己有长进的时候， 却会做出让自己后悔的事。。

我不想这样。。

天天告诉自己要期待明天， 一天的好与坏， 是自己掌握的。。

朋友， 不管你会不会emo， 真心希望你emo了过后， 还是会抬起头来， 勇敢的走下去。。

记得， 要珍惜。。

明天的事， 没人能预料。。

大家，加油！！！

活了20多年了， 每一天还是上着课， 导师是 - ‘人生’。

希望主能让我及格。。

emotional: readily or excessively affected by emotion

(Source: TheFreeDictionary.com)

upgrading..? @ slowin down..?

phew... it's been a looooooooooooong time since i last updated..

should i say i've been busy..? or juz plain laziness.. haha..

neway.. in my last blog, i said that i'll update about my haul frm Big Bad Wolf Book Sale, so here it is:

1) The Martha Stewart Living Cookbook: The New Classics ( rm20 )

of coz, dis is not for me.. haha.. i'll drop dead if u asked me to cook.. (i specialize in cooking Instant-Noodles though.. =P )

there're around a thousand recipes, but i doubt every one will taste good.. mum went thru it, stating it's not bad, but some of the ingredients are not available in malaysia.. shoot...

2) Angel Uncovered - Katie Price ( rm8 )

3) Take a Chance - Sarah Webb ( rm8 )

4) When the Boys are Away - Sarah Webb ( rm8 )

these are for my sis.. cant find any of the books she wanted, and i mean ANY of them.. (hmm.. booksales doesn't include the popular ones..)

no comment on these though, coz i hvnt read them..

5) The Boar Stone - Jules Watson ( rm8 )

6) The Cinderella Effect - Miriam Morrison ( rm8 )

7) Mister Pip - Lloyd Jones ( rm8 )

stil no comments yet.. hope to start reading soon..

'mister pip''s quite popular, it's author being an Australian, won some 'huge' awards.. looking forward to start dis..

8) Queen of Babble in the Big City - Meg Cabot ( rm8 )

the first book i picked up without looking at the story summary at the back.. coz i LURVE Meg Cabot.. haha.. and also the only book frm the booksale that i've finished..

witty and funny as usual, totally meg-cabot-ly.. great for some light n relax reading..

so that sums up my book haul.....

a video i posted: (pics of my 'activities' frm the last few months of last year..)

happenings so far..?

well, my 2nd sem started on 28th Dec.. been havin some complications in which subjects to take, thanks to our 'dear' mr. Z..

speaking of him.... started his class juz 2day.. and it was like attending a funeral.. haha.. y?

everyone was careful not to wear bright colours, to prevent from being the lucky one called by him.. haha.. ( us seniors actually.. though some r brave enough to take up the challenge.. =P )

but in the end, no one was 'lucky' enough.. haha..

it seems that he likes our juniors more.. compared with our lectures last year.. anyhow, i MUST pass Dynamics this time, dun wanna be tortured by him again.. but alas, we shall meet him again in the years to come... =(

dis short sem sees ===>'BUSY' lying ahead..

am trying to focus on wat i want... reali hope that everything goes well..

A New Year... New Resolutions..?

the term 'new' year hvnt had a great impact on me.... yet.... hmm... wonder y....

new resolutions.................

to stay focus, i guess...

and to treasure wat i have.. my family, friends and passion...

hope that it'll be a GREAT year..!!

will make a video on our course trip to penang soon... i hope........ haha...

that's it then.....

everyone...... HAVE A GREAT YEAR..!!!

c ya!!

People always are not satisfied with what they have, until they realized that they'd lost it.

babble, BBWBS, NewMoon....

hey yo!! waddup....

sori for de 'ABC'-style-greeting.. haha..

well, been 'busy' after de last paper dis sem had finished..

let's see if i can recall bc what we did:

19th nov (last paper finishing)

someone: hey, let's go eat curry wantan mee tonite (or rather, morning)..

everyone: GREAT!!

20th nov

3.45am

teen, sarah, ST: WAKE UP!!!

me: hmmmmmmm............... nite.....

#draggin me out frm bed...#

4.00am

OH SHOOT!!! the shop is CLOSED..!! not opening... n we came all de way.. haiz.....

(later on de followin day CK n ED tried it, according to them de service n attitude were bad.. hmm.. wonder it's luck or not we din get to try it..)

instead, we had indomee for supper..

5.30am

hash brown @ McD!!! yum yum..!!

had some stupid n funny moments at SS2 McD, where everyone was so sleepy that we cant open our eyes... no, ... dat's only me.. haha..

7.00am

SLEEP!! of coz... =P

21st nov

TIMESQUARE here we come!!!

unfortunately, my saddest day...

my wallet got STOLEN!! due to my stupidity.... haiz...

luckily i got my girls wif me.. they were great.. went to report with me...

wif my IDs gone, i gotta get new ones... dat means MALACCA here i come!!

~my pink purse....... i juz bought it like 3 months ago...... dang.. ~

22nd nov

reached mlk at around 8pm..

23rd nov

IC in de makin:

waited for like 2 hours, den when it's my turn, i sat there for 10 minutes (+photoshooting, superfast), n it's done... hmm... but cant get it coz it's after office hour d.. i gotta pay rm60.......................... that sucks... =(

license in progress:

now DIS i gotta compliment JPJ for makin de lines goin superfast... *clap clap*

got my no, sat down for about 5 min, went to the counter, after 5 min, ==> done....

but they charged me rm20.. hmm..

24th nov

took my IC.. totally satisfied with de pic.. haha...

atm card-ing:

gosh.. dis is like de worst scenario ever...

there're 5 counters there, dah lah not many counters, they juz opened 2 counters.. 2!

n u noe wat.. only one of them is movin.... haiz.......... speechless...

and then im back in college de next day.......

movin on,

BIG BAD WOLF BOOK SALE!!!

started on 26th, ends on dunno when.. 2 weeks duration i think..

will explain more on my next blog about wat i get.. ( hopefully i wont be to lazy 2 do it)

next,

NEWMOON!!

haha.. went to watch it juz now...

every1's gettin reali hyped up about it.. and de web is goin crazy about it too.. actually am gettin sick of all the attention given to it.. i mean, it's not reali THAT great, is it...

but one thing is sure, confirmed: Edward Cullen, or Robert Pattinson is reali HOT!!!

but Kristen Stewart do need improve her acting skills though, it's actually gettin better,

compared to the 1st movie.. where she keeps on biting her lips on EVERY scene.. haha..

no offence, but it's somehow abit annoyin.. jia you for her then...

honestly, it's not bad.. kinda slow pace, de effects were quite awesome, jacob gettin man-

lier.. haha..

wanna try the books though, coz books are always better than the movies...

finished my babble.. wanna sleep now...

til the next blog about BBWBS then.. bye.... =)

another 16 hours...

another 16 hours 2 go... until my vector exam at 8.30am..

dreading it actually, reali hope dat i'll be able to pass.. juz a pass wil do.. haiz...

but for now.. sleep 1st coz i juz slept for 2 hours rite b4 de paper juz now at 11.30am..

my frens says dat im turning into a monster.. haha.. but i kinda agree.. i will if i stil dun change my dis weird habit..

huh..! come on, crystal see.. u'll be able 2 do dis.. another 10 more days to go!!

u guys must think dat, well, she must be studying hard during the last day b4 her paper..

haha.. u r SOOO wrong if u had dis thought..

coz i was busy playin game until 1am... haha.. slept in de afternoon n oso played piano in de morning... hehe..

well, i've finished another song, had this idea when i was tumbling in bed, cant sleep..

juz 2 share lar.. not something great oso..

风景

词/曲：crystal

把窗打开

先看看窗外风景

天空阴霾

不是最爱的天晴

选择隐藏

害怕你看见眼泪

只剩下伤

越爱你越觉得累

风景不喜欢

却始终不能更换

牵着你手的习惯

甩开它那么难

纷飞的细雨

像心中的泪滴

街上的你

把她抱紧

相信我

这不是我要的风景

再回头看

其实你从不付出

没有遗憾

我值得拥有幸福

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我已经不再执着了！耶！